sad and worried

Stress Relief Tip 1: Do one thing at a time.
Do it mindfully. Do it well. Enjoy the satisfaction. Then go on to the next thing. Multitasking might work for computers, but humans have yet to get the hang of it. It leads to careless mistakes, shoddy work and unreliable performance. Worst of all, having to do things over. This is no way to live. Give what you're doing your undivided attention. Take the time to get it right. And enjoy the experience.

Stress Relief Tip 2: Cut down on competitive stress.
Today, we compete for everything: the space around us, to be first to own a new product, to get our kids signed up for programs, to get our viewpoints across, to be faster, smarter, richer, sexier. Our days are filled with stressful competitions. And most are absolutely unnecessary. Because they're driven by insecurity, fear of being left behind, an ingrained need to always have more or better than the next guy. Try to get above all that. If you want to compete, vie to be the one who stays calm and in control, who isn't easily sucked in by material things, who avoids being caught up in the daily grab-bag that robs people of health and peace of mind. Compete for that and see how pointless all those other competitions become. And how misguided those who partake in them begin to appear.

Stress Relief Tip 3: Throw something out every day.
You've got too much stuff in your house. Office. Garage. Attic. Useless clutter that's weighing you down, getting in the way, obscuring the things you really need. Be realistic. If you're not going to use it, lose it. And you don't have to make a humongous project out of it. Every day, find one thing you don't need and toss it. Or give it away. Over time, the clutter will begin to vanish and space and order will magically appear in your home...and your life.

Stress Relief Tip 4: Eliminate meaningless deadlines.
Our life is full of them. Arbitrary and unrealistic time constraints imposed by ourselves and others that serve only to make us more pressured, anxious, stressed out. For no worthwhile reason. Avoid the trap of assigning time frames to everything you do, especially if you have little idea how long it will take. Instead, make your goal one of completing a project in a careful, profession- al, satisfying manner. In other words, as long as it takes to do it right. Save your nerves, and your energy, for the few real deadlines we face...like April 15th.

Stress Relief Tip 5: Get more out of life by doing less.
What a concept! Is your life fulfilling? Or is it merely crammed? Know the difference and you'll realize it's not the quantity of activities you engage in (or possessions you collect) that ultimately determine your happiness. One naturally unfolding, enriching experience can easily surpasses many rushed and distracted ones. But you may be so chronically overscheduled, you never give yourself a chance to enjoy anything to the fullest. Experiment. Choose an occasion and give it your complete, mindful and unhurried attention. Then imagine an entire life of such enrichment. It's absolutely attainable.

GOD BLESS

Stress and depression can ruin your holidays and hurt your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can help ward off stress and depression.

By Mayo Clinic staff

The holiday season, which begins for most Americans with Thanksgiving and continues through New Year's Day, often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. In an effort to pull off a perfect holiday, you might find yourself facing a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name a few. So much for peace and joy, right?

Actually, with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress and depression that often accompany the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Recognize holiday triggers

Learn to recognize common holiday triggers, so you can disarm them before they lead to a meltdown:

• Relationships. Relationships can cause turmoil, conflict or stress at any time, but tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Family misunderstandings and conflicts can intensify — especially if you're thrust together for several days. On the other hand, facing the holidays without a loved one can be tough and leave you feeling lonely and sad.
• Finances. With the added expenses of gifts, travel, food and entertainment, the holidays can put a strain on your budget — and your peace of mind. Not to mention that overspending now can mean financial worries for months to come.
• Physical demands. Even die-hard holiday enthusiasts may find that the extra shopping and socializing can leave them wiped out. Being exhausted increases your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Exercise and sleep — good antidotes for stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. To top it off, burning the wick at both ends makes you more susceptible to colds and other unwelcome guests.

Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression

When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Take control of the holidays

Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you may find that you enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.

I am a single mother of 2 amazing boys. A 14 and 12 year old. They are truly a gift! Since my mother passed away (from neglect) on Christmas day of 03 at the age of 44. Our lives has never been the same. She was my everything. We lived together and she watched over my children while I worked and made sure they were fed and bathed everyday before I came home. I was physically and emotionally lost with out here and still am. Since then, I lost my job, We were kicked out of that home because my name was not on the lease. We went from Home to home and shelter to shelter. I dont regret a day of it. My children and I are extremely close and I believe it is due to the hard times we all brought to light together. My babies dont "want" much. They know the value of a dollar and they appreciate everything I am "able" to give. I honestly get chills and emotional when I speak of them.

It's been a tough life. In 07 I was able to get a great job that paid more than I was ever paid before. For about 9 months, Everything seemed to be ok until my children we getting into fights at school, I was being stalked by their father ( whom never was involved in their lives) so at that point, my sister was living in Florida and was telling me how much better it was over there and the schools were great! I was sold. I packed up what little I had and said goodbye to the city Ive lived in my whole life! I was there for about 7 months and could not find work anywhere! One day someone told me that I can apply for Unemployment due to the fact that I had to leave my job due to Domestic Violence and I have a history of it to back me up, so I did. It took a long time before I was approved but I was in tears when I received that letter. My babies n I moved to the best house we ever lived in. They went to a great school, played outside with friends and we made sure we had Movie night ever Saturday. Life was Amazing, Then I started feeling sicker and sicker. Found out that I had a Kidney infection and I needed surgery. From there, things went bad. I couldnt get up and do anything so I had to order out for the kids almost everyday. My money went fast. Then, Unemployment held my benefits due to a "voting issue" in the state. I had NO money for a month. When they "released" the benefits, I didn't get what was held to i had to pay everything I can with what they gave me from then on. I was late on July's rent and it kept going from there. Paid July's rent in August, August's rent in September, September's rent in October.

Now October, While I am again recovering from yet another surgery, (Oopherectomy) my money goes more and more. A few weeks later, My benefits are over and there is no extension for me. So now, I am here, typing away my pathetic story to strangers that might not even read this far or at all. I believe in good people. I help when I can and even when I can't. I believe I am a good person. I know my children are great people. I just hope there are good people out there that won't judge me and understand how it is to be in a situation that you tried so hard to never see again. I dont want to lose our home. We are finally happy! Every day I spend hours and hours looking for work. My car is from 1995. She barely makes it around my town. I need help and I finally put my pride aside to ask for it. Please. If there is any information you may have, I'd appreciate it! Please no info on foodstamp and Welfare. I am already aware of those programs. I hope to hear from someone soon. Even if it's just for moral support. God bless you all and I wish you a Merry Christmas!

correction! "It could change lives"

im so tired of wealthy people. most of them only care about their platinum watches and necklaces or their chanel purses. when most of the rest of us are wondering where our next meal is coming from. Could you imagine if for every wealthy person bought 1 million dollars worth of 50 thousand dollar homes, to give away to a family in need. It could lives.

its been about a month since my last post. nothing has improved. hoping for a miracle!

One of the greatest combinations of blessings and burdens that woman of color carry is the legacy of not being able to say "no".  We are socialized to take care of our families, our friends, our communities and everyone else but ourselves.  Sometimes this is a result of a desire for acceptance.  Sometimes we feel that we are the only ones who can meet the needs of our family and friends.  Either way, we end up feeling stressed as we try to do everything.  Adding to our anxiety is the thought that while we are meeting everyone else needs, our own needs will not be met.  To top it off, we are often consumed with guilt at the thought of putting our needs before someone else's.  However, for the sake of sanity, sometimes that is just what we need to do.

Alleviating stress begins with learning to say 'no' and recognizing our strengths and limitations.  By taking the time out to revive ourselves-- spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically we are actually doing our loved ones a favor, because once our needs are met we are equipped to attend the need of others. 

 When we are tired, it is hard to fulfil Jesus' instruction to let our light shine before others (see Mt. 5:16).  We have to learn that sometimes "no" is the right and healthy answer.  Although it will not be easy, we must learn to say it.  Self-deception, pride and independence can prevent self-awareness and discernment; we need to rely on God to search our minds and our conduct(see Jer 17:9-10).

Having been programmed to say "yes" all of our lives, saying "no" will feel uncomfortable at first.  However, as you practice saying it and offering alternatives to the demands on your time and resources, say "no" will become easier.  Others will be taken aback at first, but you will feel better and, ultimately, serve them better.  Once a woman acknowledges her dependence on God and submits to his will for her life, stress will decrease.

My Personal Comments:

First of all this article not only pertains to Women of Color it pertains to all women who have not had a silver spoon life in so many words.  This article definintely pertains to me.  In fact, I had three heartattacks due to stress.  So i know it can kill.  I have learned to say 'no' and it really does take practice and makes you feel better.

You know you are right.  One day at a time.... The stress and anxiety caused by worrying is just not worth it.  The body reacts to every situation and the best thing you can do right now is keep it healthy so when something positive does happen, you are able to jump right then and there.

Take care,

friendshelpingfriends

Hi all.  I'm just going to keep the faith and a positive attitude until my finances turn around for me and my family.  I have a good feeling today....my daughter and I attended church and then played at the park.  It's a beautiful day outside:)  I just don't wanna let all my financial problems and stress keep me from enjoying things daily.  Like they say....one day at a time.  I hope to hear from anyone who can help us even a little soon.

An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray.
   
   
2. Go to bed on time.
   
   
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
   
   
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
   
   
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
   
   
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
   
   
7. Less is more.. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
   
   
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
   
   
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
   
   
10. Take one day at a time.
    
    
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
    
    
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
    
    
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
    
    
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
    
    
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
    
    
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
    
    
17. Get enough rest.
    
    
18. Eat right.
    
    
19. Get organized so everything has its place.
    
    
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
    
    
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
    
    
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
    
    
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot.. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
    
    
24. Make friends with Godly people.
    
    
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
    
    
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."
    
    
27. Laugh.
    
    
28. Laugh some more!
    
    
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
    
    
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
    
    
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
    
    
32. Sit on your ego.
    
    
33. Talk less; listen more.
    
    
34. Slow down.
    
    
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
    
    
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31).

There's an old poem/verse that's been replaying on my mind lately. I've been worrying about Christmas, and how my kids are going to feel when they realize I was telling them the truth about not having really anything to open for Christmas. Ive made them a couple crafts and managed to find a couple used books to give them. Money is seriously THAT tight right now. My three youngest all believe in Santa Claus so they keep telling me that it doesn't matter if we have gifts under our tree cuz Santa will still bring them some presents on Christmas Eve. IT breaks my heart...and I start to feel sick and panic, I would ask family for help but I don't have any. Both my parents are deceased, they died from a car crash 5 years ago. The only life insurance they had was only enough to cover their funeral expenses and their living debts. I believe in God and I do believe in miracles. I pray each day and night that somebody out there reads my story and is in a position to help me out. I know it must be really hard for a donor to pick out who they want to help or who the believe to be in the most need. When I write about my story I feel I need to add every detail in the hopes that I "win" the readers heart. I don't lie, there's nothing fictional about my story. Some people have msg'd me saying that "oh you're from Canada, you can't be poor", well there's poverty here too! Suprise suprise, it's everywhere in the world. The "free" resources some people are referring to I'm not aware of, I would most certainly utilize any help I could get locally and not feel I must resort to an online aid site. I'm so grateful there are people out there willing to listen and share what they have. One day when I'm in a better financial position I promise to myself that I will help others in whatever ways I can. I already donate time and other resources to local charities. I'll give a homeless person my last couple of dollars if I believe in my heart he really could use a bowl of soup, Anyway, I just wanted to bleed my story out one more time. And also add this poem that means so much. Let's try and live ONE DAY AT A TIME!

I agree it is a great poem and I love it too.

I love that poem. That is great.

we all go through so much as woman! Even though we have to worry about how to support our family, we still have to go through the hell with the men we are with because they will not stand up and be real men. But we still love them all the more. I hope you like this poem explaining the feelings we go through with our men!

Crave his Love

As a woman, we go through so much.

We crave the love of a mans touch.

When that love develops into relation.

All we can think about is the sensation.

We love the thrill of how he makes us feel.

Especially when he flaunts his sex appeal.

We’ll do most any thing for his attention.

Even turn on close ones, did I mention?

I crave his Love like no other.

I love him more than my own mother.

He took my emotions and threw them away.

But still I pray that he would come back the next day.

I crave his love, like a devil in heat.

Even though he treats me like a piece of meat.

Will this craving ever subside?

Or will I have to run off and hide.

Hide from this man that I can’t get out my system.

Be for one of us turns into a victim.

Because I am afraid to let him go.

Even though he has me around just for show.

These feelings are getting real deep.

If they don’t change soon, I’m going to kill the creep.

Crave his love, us woman always give the most.

When they are finish taking, they move on to their next host.

                                       By: Genevieve James {P.E.P}

                                      Pure Encouragement Poems

Great article on how to relieve stress using aromatherapy.

Author: George Kakaris

Nowadays, almost everybody experience stress in his life. Stress term describes any mental, emotional or physical reaction that is abnormal.  Stress is a natural part of our life. Sometimes it is beneficial because it keep us focused and persistent on our goal (work, study, etc.), but generally stress is one of the major threat of our mental and physical health. Feeling stress, especially on a daily basis and for a long period, may cause several health disorders, such as anxiousness, headaches, blood pressure, hair loss, depression, even heart attach. According to recent surveys, the 3 major causes of stress in developed world are job, family and health issues.
 
Many stress management strategies have been developed recently by psychologists. However, nobody can claim that every patient who may follow his treatment will totally eliminate stress from his life. In this article we will present you some of the most efficient aromatherapy tips that can help you reduce stress level and achieve emotional and physical well-being.

Throughout history, some scented plants and their aromatic water have been used for relaxing and smoothing purposes.  Holy basil is a native herb of India (where it is known as tulsi), sacred plant of the Hindu civilization and used for thousands of years for healing. Scientific studies on natural properties of Holy Basil have found that it reduces body hormones named corticosterone and cortisol, which are intimately connected with stress, anxiety and mental clarity. Consequently, Holy Basil is one of the best antidepressant therapeutic grades and its essential oils are highly recommended for stress alleviation.
 
Other, more well-known, essential oils which can be used for soothing nervous tension and reducing stress are: Lavender essential oil, Ylang-Ylang essential oil, Chamomile essential oil and Geranium essential Oil. Lavender’s scent has calming and anti-depressant properties. Ylang-Ylang is described as euphoric essential oil that helps in uplifting mood. Chamomile essential oil can relax body and mind and can provide restful and peaceful sleep. Geranium oil, is another sedative and relaxing essential oil, that can balance adrenaline.

Before, suggesting some aromatherapy recipes for stress relief, I want to underline that dealing with essential oils might be dangerous especially for inexperienced persons. Keep in mind that essential oils are concentrated potent substances and should never be placed directly on skin. Use carrier (base) oil for dilution and after you can apply it on skin. Moreover, remember that only few essential oils can be taken internally and used during pregnancy.  

Aromatherapy oils can be used in burners and diffusers.  Add 5-10 drops of your favourite essential oil to water in the bowl and heat it.  Sit back and relax, while the essential oil vaporises and its perfume creates a soothing atmosphere. Another way to benefit from essential oils is by inhaling them. Put few drops on a tissue or a cotton pad, put your nose near and just inhale. Keep in mind, that this is the easiest and the only one way to benefit from essential oils when you are outside your home and you want to relieve tension (at work for example).

Additionally, you can reduce stress with aromatherapy bath and massage. Add 4-6 drops of essential oil to your warm bath water and stay in it for at least 15 minutes, allowing the oil to penetrate your skin and indulge yourself with the advantageous vapours. Finally, you can add 5 drops of essential oil to every 10ml of base oil and massage your body. The ideal parts of your body for relaxing massage are around the neck, shoulders and back.

In conclusion, stress is an unavoidable piece of our modern way of living, but there are some easy to follow techniques that can enhance the body ability to cope with emotional and physical stress. The most sweet-scented is Aromatherapy.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/relieve-stress-naturally-with-aromatherapy-tips-150016.html

About the Author:
George Kakaris is a freelance writer living in an island of Greece. He is very interested in natural health and alternative active life style and owner of an information site about Aromatherapy and Essential Oils, where you can read about   essential oils   and   hydrosols   among others.

Week 3.

   Well, week 3 seems to be going pretty well so far.  Fights and frustration seem to be giving away to understanding and some mutual respect for both of us moving forward.  There are plenty of things that I am concerned about, but at the moment I only feel comfortable voicing them with people on the internet.  I think I'll run this like a doctor visit and they ask you what's wrong... or more importantly how you've been feeling...

  I've been reading a lot about PTSD (post traumatic stress syn), and RTS (rape trauma syndrome) to find out that my GF is definitely lost somewhere in there.  I'm unsure as to discuss the symptoms (educational and hopefully comforting), problems that can arise from these trauma's going unresolved, and just general thoughts on other preductive things that can happen from this event.  I will press her again this week to go see a psychiatrist but I can definitely see it going badly (doesn't mean I won't do it!).  I lately have been really interested in her discussing her trauma with a professional because I think that she needs someone else other than me to speak to.  I get the feeling that there is a large amount of guilt in her still and I know that I can't make thatgo away.  The nicer I am, the more concerned I am... the more guilt she will probably feel.  She probably even feels that she did this to me.  Either way, I think an objective authority will be helpful for her to really release any of those deep emotions (anger, guilt, hate) before they evolve into something much more destructive.

  HIV.  She's on her 3rd week of PEP pills to help prevent the virus HIV from attacking and multiplying within her T-cells.  It seems as though there are good odds of prevention.  Unfortunately she was at high-risk, but still... odds are in her favor.  Unfortunately, we will not be able to have unsafe sex again until her last 6 month checkup.  Not so exciting... but, so far, sex is probably one of the last things we need to be thinking about.  Which brings me to my final topic.

  Sex.  We've already had sex four times (obviously with condoms and I'm well aware of the risk), but I'm getting the feeling that this will be one hell of a slippery slope for us for a LONG TIME.  Here's a little background, we have had a lot of sex in the past and neither one of us would ever been interested in changing that.  I know that she and I were very much on the same page when it comes to sex (sadly our relationship was probably 25-35% sexual connection, though we were working on that), but obviously now, this will (or may not) change.  She shows a lot of interest in her life to going back to normal and that's what I allowed her.  BUT I'm starting to feel like sex will be completely different and that she was just hoping that it wouldn't by us having sex those four times.  Also, I should say that I haven't pressured her in any way other than that she is well aware that my ex had sex issues with me and that I didn't like that.  But there is also a world of difference between sex once a week at age 28, and sex 2-3 times a day!  I don't mind at all if she wants to wait 6 months... well, maybe a little, but I'll DEAL WITH IT.  I just have no control over her head... and just hope for the best.  and if there's anything I hate... it's hope.

  I could use some thoughts about what I should do if anything about sex.  Does anyone have experience with this situation?  Are there things I have already done wrong?  Are there things that I should watch out for?  I'm actually really nervous that she'll leave me for someone else that won't know that she was raped and can live a normal life again (well, minus the huge white elephant of denial in the room) but you get the idea... Is that even realistic or am I going a little crazy too???

  Thanks anyone.

                            An Encouraging Word          from Doers of the Word Ministries

No need for you to be concerned about things going on in your life, just give them to Jesus and let him work them out.

Everyone knows that no matter what you are doing in life there will always be presented to you the invitation to be worried and concerned: usually about things that we have no control over anyway.  Without any thought of worry or concern that I was aware of this revalation came to me that since God cares for me why not go ahead and enjoy myself and leave everything in His capable hands.  This was such an overwhelming relief I am sure of something that I was concerned about and maybe had masked in some way, or maybe it is my heads up for something that I may have to face in the near future.  Either way this is comforting reassurance that He will handle all my issues if I just cast them on Him.

Since the Bible says that God neither slumbers nor sleeps (Psalm 121:4) why not cast all our cares on Him and let Him deal with these concerns while we rest in His promises.  As we wait for the things of God to be manifested in our lives be certain that the enemy will launch an attack to cause you to worry or be concerned that God's Word will not come to pass.  Simple everyday occurrences that should pose no threat or concern will be used as a tool attempting to get you to move into a place of unrest.  But since God cares for us why not let him have all these concerns.  He loves us unconditionally and wants to handle our every need so he tells us to cast our worries and concerns upon Him.  Since He cares for me affectionately I know he will take good care of me, therefore I can rest and continue to do His will without concern.  This is called peace, and it comes from giving it all to Him.

                                                     SUGGESTED PRAYER:

Father, I thank you for your care of me and taking my worries and concerns as your own releasing me to rest.  I thank you that I don't have to worry, but I can cast it all on You.  Your love for me is proven in the way you gave me Your peace and told me to give my worries and concerns to you to handle them.  In Jesus Name I pray, AMEN.

My personal response:

As my personal experience, i have been put in many situations in my life time that caused for worry or concern.  it was a challenge of my faith and i would have to get a grip and remember to give them all to Jesus and release that unnecessary stress.  we make it seem like hard work when you really think about it ....it is not.  The devil puts you in those mind game situations wanting you to THINK that there is no way or no hope.  i have definitely learned this from personal experience and God kept me alive to be able to give this testimony that when you trust, believe and obey then your faith will kick in that give it to God mode and your peace will begin to settle in.  i am not saying it is easy because being human is not easy but believe me when i say it can be done. by Lo-Lo

                              "PRAY FOR SOMEONE WHO IS STRUGGLING"

                                                                                                       by Candy Paull

When you get caught up in your own problems, one of the best ways to find a larger perspective is to focus on the struggles and needs of others.  Prayer takes you into the presence of God, reminding you of his ability to transform even the most difficult problem into blessing.

When you pray for a friend with cancer, your common cold seems more bearable.  Praying for people in a war-torn country helps you see your own neighborhood in new light.  Prayer changes you as well as the situation, and praying for someone else releases God's grace in ways you cannot imagine.

*****Send a card or letter to let someone know you are remembering them in your prayers********

Scripture:

"When we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your benefit and salvation!  For when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn, can be an encouragement to you."        2 Corinthians 1:6

                        SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE

                                                                                                by Candy Paull

The world offers plenty of negative comments and criticism.  You don't need more criticism--you need encouragement and support.  A circle of supportive friends can encourage you to reach your full potential and make life easier and more fun.

Think about your inner circle.  Who believes in you, supports you, and has a positive attitude?  Which friends drain your energy with complaints, criticisms, and a negative outlook?  Pray about whom you should spend more time with and whom you should spend less time with.  Actively seek to surround yourself with supportive friends.

****Develop a mutual encouragement society:  a circle of friends who support, encourage, and believe in one another.*****  This site can be one of them to start a support group.

"Encouragement is oxygen to the soul."  by George M. Adams

                   Take regular stress breaks during the day                 by candy paull

When your day feels hectic and out of control, it's vitally important to give yourself simple time-outs for stress relief.  Escape from the office for a brief walk.  Drink a glass of water or fruit juice.  Renew your energy with exercise.  Refresh your spirit with a brief time of prayer and meditation.  Make room for God to speak timeless wisdom in the midst of your time crunch.

It's easy to get caught up in a fast-paced environment and forget to take care of your own neds.  But including simple breaks in your day can refresh your body, renew your perspective, and replenish your spirit.

My personal response:  this is so true.  if i had done this i probably would not have had a heart attack while at work.  i have learned the hard way but i am still here and i do not repeat the same mistakes.  i try not to anyway.

                                               Transform Your thinking                by Candy Paull

What does it mean to transform your thinking?  One way is to become aware of your thoughts and to actively choose to think better thoughts.  Get out of a negative mental rut and decide to think about higher things.  Stop going over why things went wrong or how someone hurt you.  Choose to move from negative thoughts into more positive and creative thoughts.  Replace complaints with praise.

Ask God to help you transform your thinking.  When you find yourself dwelling on what's wrong, ask him to help you find what's right in every situation.  Allow the light of love to transform your thoughts.

My personal response:  This was also a very hard one for me.  it took me years to get over why what happen to me happened.  getting sick, losing marriage, losing independence, losing car, job, etc.  i always had faith in God and i never questioned him.  i knew he would not leave me and believe me he did take care of me.  when the doctor's said i should not have lived well God decides that and he was not ready.  He also gave me peice of mind and there is no amount of money that could pay for that.  i may not have much but i have God, love, and peice of mind.

http://risingup.ning.com/

 We've added a new feature to the website.
"The Rising Up Social Network"
http://risingup.ning.com/

It's kind of like Myspace and facebook.
You can create your own profile, add music, photos or youtube videos.

your not obligated to join, We just hope that if you have something to give back that may help someone else, you can use this platform to get your message across.

Feel free to just look around.



http://risingup.ning.com/

This may seem minor, compared to the others that are on here, but I've too found myself in a situation that I'm finding extremely hard to get out of.   

 I am a vet of 6 years with the United States Air Force, whom recently got out of the military, to pursue other goals.  I was barely making it after I got out, but I was still making it.  However, due to some extenuating circumstances, I was given the option to stay behind and let my family fall, or move back home to help them out.  I chose to move, which is turning out to be a mistake...  

Thinking that I wouldn't have a problem, as I hadn't had a problem finding work in the past due to my military experience, and my other qualifiacations, I chose to move back to help out my sister, brother in law, and their now six month old daughter.  Both have near min. wage jobs, bills that they cannot afford (mortgage, propane, and now my neice) and given the situation I was in, doing fairly alright, I decided to move back home to help them get back on their feet.  

I have been actively searching for employment for the last three months now, to no avail, and those that I thought I wouldn't have a problem helping get back on their feet, are now faced with trying to support an extra body until I get on my feet.  We have all come under a lot of pressure, and stresses since I made the move, and things are only getting worse.  

I, who is generally known as the happy go lucky person, have found it very hard to remain optomistic of the situation.  I have now found myself falling behind in my own bills, goals, and even focus.  I cannot afford to live day to day wondering how things are going to be even next week with absolutely no funds available. 

The economy in this state is by far the worst in this country, with 936,000 people unemployed.  Which is also making it more difficult to actually find work because of so many trying to go after the same job.  

I am looking for any sort of financial assistance to get my family and I through these trying times until something good actually comes along.  Any grant information, dontations, etc would be greatly appreciated to get my family and I through these trying times...

 Thank you for your time in reading this post.  I can be reached at Cdaniel121@aol.com.  Again, thank you...  

In today's challenging economic climate, the last thing you need is added stress over employment.  Losing a job is one of the most significant stressors both personally and professionally for most people.  Now is a teriffic time to do some serious employment reflection because not only is taking a proactive approach is the most cost effective and efficient way to assist yourself if you do lose that job, but it's also likely to reduce the amount of time you spend being unemployed. 

While there is no sure fire way of knowing how your company is fairing without some inside information from the powers that be, there are some office changes that you could look to in order to at least hazard a guess as to which way the winds are shifting, if at all. 

 [1] Watch your supervisors

Generally speaking, higher ups, whenever possible, jump ship right before it sinks so if there seems to be an unusually high rate of turnover from upper management, that could be a sign. 

[2] Watch your co-workers

Higher turnover in employees of any position may be a sign that your company is not fairing that well.  Churning through new employees is a last ditch effort for most companies that don't know how to address their failures before they have to shut down permanently and usually comes just before or during the layoff period. 

[3] Watch your office for Extensive time off

When your co-workers and supervisors are interviewing, or thinking of interviewing at other companies, they tend to take more personal days.  If you notice a spiked increase in workplace absenses, this could be a sign that people see the end and are preparing for it.

[4] Know your business

Most companies don't like to let go of their employees, but sometimes it's the only available option left to stave off a bankruptcy.  As a general rule, the closer you are to the product or service that your company provides, the longer you will be able to hold on to your job.  So figure out where your position fits into your business-honestly.  If your job seems very tangential to your companies business, your department is more likely to go early in a round of layoffs. 

Whether or not you know or believe your company or department is headed under, taking these steps will benefit you emotionally as well as professionally.

Update Your Resume  Now is a GREAT time to sit down and start thinking about yourself positively.  A resume, at its essence, is a consise set of factual accomplishments that make you a SUPER employee.  Updating and polishing the ol' resume will not only be easier when not done under the stress associated with having just been fired, but it will force you into viewing yourself in a positive and re-affirming way. 

Stay in Touch   Don't be afraid to pull out all those old and largely forgotten business cards that you've collected.  Place a call to friends, acquaintences and business contacts.  These referals will be your best employment resource in the future and those most likely to help if they know that you need it.   So drop a line today and see if they could use a hand.  Someday soon they may be able to repay the favor. 

Pick up a new talent Now's a great time to take a class or seminar in your field.  Show your employer that you consider your position worthwhile of the time and attention you're putting into it and they will too.  These new skills you develop can only help while looking for a new job and its a great place to meet new people in your field or the field you want to be in. 

Think about A New Field  The best time to mull over that new career you want to shoot for is before you're unemployed.  Once you're unemployed, your focus will immediately shift towards getting a new job of any type to keep you going. 

INVEST IN YOURSELF Many, Many people are a job loss or a divorce away from losing it all.  Worse still is that when these events occur people rarely see them coming, and often say that they could never have imagined the situation they find themselves faced with happening to them.  Unfortunately, they do happen; they happen every day to lots of people.  Now more than ever, particularly if you're employment situation is stable, start putting your financial resources together for the future so that in the event of a tragic personal situation such as job loss or divorce you are better prepared to make it through. 

 I thank you for taking the time to listen,

Best Regards

I have had a headache for a week and a half now.  I am sure it is caused from the stress and worry that I am going through.  I do not know what else to do or where else to turn.  The past two days I have started having anxiety attacks. 

 I desperately need money to pay my back rent.  I do not want my children on the street for Christmas.  I don't care about presents and my kids are pretty good about not wanting a lot too.  I have tried to teach them that just being with family is more than enough at Christmas. But if someone does not help me by the end of this week, my kids and I will be living on the streets. 

I will pay back any money that is loaned to me.  I just have to catch up.  My ex left me in a bind and I just can't seem to pull out of it on my own.

Is there anyone out there that can help me?

While recieving unemployment, I suggest you seek a counselor you feel comfortable with.  When you are ready and able to work, let the interviewer know that while you had some difficulties, you have spent time actively resolving those difficulties, so they will not have any-thing to worry about.  Most people understand that we all have issues to deal with at times.  It is those who seek to resolve those issues who go on to bigger and better things.  If you sincerely dealt with your issues, this sincerity will project during the interview.

I wish you the best in the coming months.  If you have any further questions feel free to ask.

Sandra Alger, LMSW, ACSW

Any thoughts on how to approach a situation of unemployment due to a mental health issue?  An event occurred that shook me up pretty bad and I identified that too my employer (state of Maryland), specifically stating that I was not able to be at work and as a result was quickly thereafter given the option to resign or be fired.  I am going to apply for unemployment insurance but fear that if I explain the reason why I was forced to resign I will be marked for doom.  Additionally, I am apprehensive about how to approach the coming job application and interviews as my references are now tainted due to the situation.  Any input from you would be appreciated, as you are an outside the box point individual.    

I've been in really bad shape since I lost my job. My lights are off, I'm two mounths behind on rent, and I have a late car note.I have a job as a server but the pay and the tips are not enough. I've called every church and organization I could think of for help. Most of them are low on funds or refuse to help me at all. If I don't pay my bills I may have to join the service to stay off the streets. I'm supose to graduate from college at the end of next year. With everything that is going on I may have to stop all together? If anyone can think of something please let me know.

Thanks,

Jovan

I did a search on google and landed on your ad. I'm actually in the exact same situation as you but I also have a past due car note...it's really hard right now.

Let me know if you come accross anything that you think can help. I wish you the best!

Sincerely,

E

Does your town have a Department of Human Services where they have an Emergency Fund to help pay on your rent? They of course will have different requirments but check it out. Also, go talk to different churches and see if they can give you some assistance. I know it is tough looking for a job and worrying about having back rent to pay. I will be praying for you.

Okay, so I'm stressing out just a little bit.  I've been on three different job interviews in the last week and am hopeful that one of them will pan out.

In the meantime, my April rent is still unpaid and I'm freaking out over it.  With the late fee it's up to $1375!!!!

Advice??? Suggestions???  Anything at all welcomed!!

Truly & Sincerely,

Michelle 

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I pray for us all in these times.  Now is the time when we learn what the "Friuts of our Labor" means.  Prosperity will not come from greed, it is in us that Mother Nature is expecting us to change and understand.  Learn how to garden,  do not live wasteful.  God Bless you all

I am  a mother who is now currently in a big amount of debt from local banks in our country, the Philippines. I have loans from these banks (BPI, Unionbank, Citibank, and HSBC) that I can no longer afford to pay because I am out of work. They are harrassing me big time and I cannot cope with such stress! I am very stressed right now...I need help. Please extend your kindness to me. I am trying my best to work out my problems, but with a child to feed and a household to keep, my efforts are in vain. Please help me...

I can accept any form of help through Western Union. My name is Maria Luisa J. Conti. My email address is mlcj22@gmail.com. I live at Sitio Hilltop, Barangay Simlong, Batangas City. I am asking for kindness from you.

Thank you so much :)

Dear Jeanie: Stop - do not lay out another cent. Read the warning page on how does aid page work. I do not know what state you are currently residing in but some have "displaced homemaker" retraining programs to enhance your employment opportunities. Some states also have special programs for people 55 and older seeking employment. If you haven't already, post your city and state of residence (ONLY!) on your profile. Also if you are not yet divorced, you can still file claim against assets. Many states have pro bono legal services to assist w/family matters. Please refer to aidmate Soulight's, Who~knew and Sierra Star's posted aidpages for resources, tips and advice. See the following links: Blessings, Elaine
Soulight
Who~Knew
Sierra Star

 Hello,  My name is Jeanie.  I am  57 years old, and at the very end of my emotional rope! I am out of money out of time, and out of options. I do not know where to turn!  God help me Please!!  I have been separated from my husband for over a year.  Since then I have held several jobs all of which were complete dead ends. My husband is a retired factory worker living on a very fixed income, and he is unable to support me financially outside of our marriage.
 When he retired from his job we moved South, and I gave up a full time job. I had to move from there back to my home state where I am originally from, because I could not afford to live in a separate residence in the South. Nor could either one of us afford to get a divorce, because we could not afford to pay lawyers.  I gave up my home, and  all rights to it because my husband had promised me that he would “help me out”,  NOT!!  I was naïve in assuming that he would. He had promised me that he would pay off my credit cards and give me a substantial part of what our home was worth. I was very stupid not to have obtained this in writing.  Needless to say he didn’t do what he promised. I moved back to my home state using credit I did not really have to use. 
 Once I had gotten settled I did obtain a good job, but I was seriously under qualified for it.  I accepted the job because I desperately needed an income at the time.  I lasted at that job for approx.. 5 months, and it was very it was a very stressful period trying to fit into a job that I did not have the experience for.  My employer finally let me go, with assurances that I would be able to get unemployment.  NOT!!  I did not qualify for unemployment because I did not make enough within a certain period, and because I had not worked long enough. Since then I have been working the odd jobs for a temp agency, but those odd jobs were few. 
 I come from an era where the wife stayed at home while the husband went out and earned a paycheck.  I would have worked outside our home, but my husband preferred me at home. I was a housewife and mother for many years and I do not regret those years.  My children are now grown and doing well in their own lives.  But because I stayed home and took care of my home and raised my children, I have not the “marketable” skills that would make it possible for me to obtain a good job and earn a comfortable living.  I also have several age related ailments, while not disabling, make it very difficult for me to work a full-time job outside my home.  I would love to get training in a marketable skill and develop a business, and work from my home. I could possibly obtain a grant, (impossible to get unless you hire someone),  or educational loan for training,….(govt. grants)……“this is also a huge money making machine for internet scammers!!!” 
 I am unable to hold down a full-time job and go to school at the same time. It is more than I can handle at my age, considering my current health situation.  I have a disease called, “cervical spondylosis”.  It is very painful and debilitating.  I also have bone spurs in the heels and pads of my feet, osteoarthritis, and a small tumor at the base of my brain. Thankfully this tumor is, as far as I know, benign.  I have been told by my doctor that I need to have yet another MRI, of which I have had many!  I can not afford it!   I tried to get help from a community organization called, “Volunteers In Medicine”, but …..again I do not qualify because I have to be completely uninsured. This is another reason I have not yet tried to obtain a divorce,  as long as I remain married, I am still under his insurance. 
 I am not a lazy person, I exercise and try to keep myself in shape, but I have been so severely depressed that some days I can not even function. I have scoured the internet in hopes of finding some kind of work at home, for an online job.  God help me!  Several months ago….as now,  I was so desperate for a way to make some money that I fell for an internet scam.  It was one of those “Nigerian” scams.  I was very stupid and very naïve, and very desperate.  Desperate people will do stupid stuff, as I well know.  As a result of that scam my bank account was wiped out, along with some of the banks money.  I tried everything to get help.  I called all the Federal offices I could think of.  Secret Service, CIA, FBI, etc., you name it and I called it.  No one would help me.  I understand how being involved might have made me look less than innocent, but I truly did not realize until it was too late.  I was an unknowing participant.  I have always been a very trusting individual and willing to believe that there are honest people in this world.  But, my trust has been betrayed time and again. Just a couple of weeks ago now I was talked into investing money I don’t even have on an internet business that I was promised would earn me quick money. I had one credit card with some credit left on it, now I have none!  Scammed again!!! I am sick to death of all the lies, and untruths that are flooding the internet!!  These people were very smooth and they know just what to say to have you believing them!!  How do these people sleep at night knowing what they do to people!!! I am not a dummy, just way too trusting.
 My trust in our Government to protect its American Citizens against fraud and other unscrupulous acts has been broken.  Our government officials and the politicians who are running this United States Government are all out for themselves, first and foremost.  They sit around giving themselves raises probably with our tax dollars, while people like me are lost in the shuffle of government bureaucracy. 
 Now I find myself in the position of having to beg someone to save me from living in the streets.  I have been living off credit for some months just to survive. Now my credit is shot and I can not obtain a loan, needless to say.  I do at least have a good vehicle, about the only thing I got from my marriage worth anything,  but even it is going to need maintenance soon.  I am praying for a miracle because I am all out of time and money.  I am tired and my spirit is broken, and I am very scared.  I have registered with 2 websites where folks are allowed to “beg for money”.  On one of them I have yet to receive any help, and the other site, I paid for the opportunity to tell my story, they took my money and never did publish the story!! I do at least have this computer and I have been working as a, “chat host”,  for a couple of internet sites. Basically chat hosting means stripping for money. It is NOT what I want to do, but was forced to do to survive!  I do not want to live this way!!! 
 Someone please help me to make my life worth living.  I just want a chance to be someone before its too late for me!!  I have rent due in 2 days, and I do not have the money to pay for it.  God help me!!  Please!!!  If anyone can find it in their heart to help me I know that it could change my life for the better!  Is there anyone out there who really cares????  If there is, please renew my faith, and I will get down on my knee’s and pray to God to bless you, and Thank You All!!!!!

Sincerely,
Jeanie

I have a new office, and a new bussiness name-- "Psychiatric Social Work Services" Sands

Does anyone know if modest needs is a scam web site? People have given them private info at modest needs request and they have not recieved any help- Sands